Thursday, April 22, 2010

Today is the earth day.

As much as I love nature and being green and whatever, I hate earth day right now.

I do love the hippie elements… that its redeeming quality for me. Despite my poor attitude, which is due largely to my lack of sleep, I drank organic peach tea today in honor of earth day.

Today's earth day was surprisingly sunny… and instead of being enveloped in all that sunny goodness, I was stuck in classes all the live long day. So in honor of being stuck inside and of the earth days, I looked up nature-type pictures. Here is a brief ode for all those trapped indoors; here is earth day bearthdays brought to you

The best news I had all day was my captain planet findings

turns out, he's freaking hot. Mildly anime, part pop-eye build.

also, I found pictures of captain planet incarnate!…. I believe.

Then this ugly melted earth rock is so two thousand and late

hug a tree

hug a tiger

and I don't know what to do with this… but I'm pretty sure it ruined my earth day.

but this naked guy riding on his stallion makes it all better... and here's a picture of him riding a horse... :)

This is my friend Andrea.

She's really cool. Prettly much 10x cooler than I am. And also, she's really good at taking pictures…

also, she has good taste in articles…. also she's quotable.

*by Andrea Johnson

" Happy Earth Day: I believe we must depolarize and depoliticize environmentalism. Caring for creation should not be framed in a right-left dichotomy. Stewardship isn’t primarily a political, social or economic issue; it is a moral issue the people of God have been called to address. If we desire to remain true to God’s Word, Christians must redeem the cause and make it our own. We need to rediscover the scriptural basis for creation care, engage our planet’s daunting problems and propose solutions most Christians are comfortable with. To abandon these issues to secular environmentalists shirks our God-given responsibility to care for His planet."

the article that brings about her inspiration?

so relevant right now. so relevant. cool and christian and relevant. good thing thats the name of the magazine… because its clearly the best description. its relevant. so relevant that even all the indecisive hipsters would read it…. its like a christian adbusters with missions opportunities and bible college ads in the margins. I kind of love relevant actually… its just so relevant…..relevant.....

So relevant that I just learned that earth day is only 40 years old. Imagine that!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A few weekends ago, I was trying to find art nouveau pictures for illustration inspiration when I stumbled upon this.

I could have relished the moment and moved on with my life, but rather (factors being no plans + weekend) I ventured forth into the abyss…. I spent the next couple of hours reading stories about carnies and people with biological defects that were capitalized…. HOURS I TELL YOU!

most of my finds entailed this:

this is the most talented zebra ever. The experience can be duplicated while on drugs while looking at a dog. (I do not endorse drug use… but I do endorse this zebra) He's like the real life version of that rainbow gum… but better.

obesity is NOT a talent, but I might still pay to see this lady dance because she looks like she's having a great time….

I might even join her in my own pink tutu... IMAGINE THAT!

sometimes I found carnies with no pants

then I found some great pictures of super strong German women

I want to be a member of this family so bad. You have no idea. I'd be the woman holding the bike tower

its kind of like Star Wars, but it really happened.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Medieval Woman

The other day in the cafe I was singing along to some great Electric Light Orchestra, when "Evil Woman" comes on. Now for those who know ELO, they sing in some really great falsetto most of the time, and their words can often be slurred. Also I'm really bad at listening to lyrics of songs and typically learn songs by the way that they sound versus actual content. So the chorus entails singing "evil woman" a couple times (hence the name), but "evil" is spaced out over a couple staccato-like syllables… so in my world, falsetto + slur + staccato = "medeival woman"… and that is what I've been singing for years… in an instant, I realized that the name of the song MIGHT correlate to the lyrics of the song which I clearly didn't know… this happens to me all the time. I actually listen to what I'm saying and I realize that I don't know what I'm saying and I learn something… and tell no one of my brain fart moment... until now.

so that got me thinking about medieval women and what they had going for them: the plague and hairy legs. Then I did some research…

turns out they liked to fish, kill things with arrows, play with dogs and play the trumpet!
Also all of them look sickly… always.
Its a must or you have to go to a different time period where you'll be accepted for your health.
Swan sitting… this was before animal rights activists stepped in and banned the practice.

They liked hats…. and partial moustaches

Looking bald was really cool.
some of them had to wear collars so they wouldn't lick their bulbous plague sores.
Then this picture made me think of the royal tenenbaums, but less masochistic

also this Mexican ATV gang.

Most importantly, this picture proves a woman's role was to decimate the weak.

So after being blasted with musical excellence, I am completely spent. My lovely roommate treated me to a concert that I didn't think I was going to be able to attend. Delightful!

Jonsi concert 2010 holla holla! Soooooo great! It was outstanding visually and audibly. It was like the opening ceremony to the olympics meets Planet Earth meets Sigur Ros... they birthed magic... and we were all covered in the musical afterbirth...

(thats the music birthing out the back of his head)

Go Do.

Support future icelandic musical babies by clicking here:

Also, Last FM wrote the funniest freaking review on Jonsi. So here you go!

thats really small... just cut and paste yo-self some linkage:ón+“Jónsi”+Þór+Birgisson.

So the concert was crazy great w/ serious visual magic. It was like the Olympics, but better because it was live... and with good music

Lets recap the opening ceremonies and why I liked it.

Well, I wouldn't say this was a favorite moment, but I mean... really? What the crap w/ the frozen totem zombies? Really? And those poor first nations dancers that got conned into dancing for a good hour straight... they didn't even have time to stretch.

YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH! First off, whales started swimming across the floor and then people's clothes started glowing and a giant bear came out of nowhere! It was AHMAZING!

This is the closest thing I could find to the random tapping fiddlers of Canada... I don't know what they meant, but their routine took up a good portion of the evening. Good thing I found this picture when I googled "kilt fiddler olympics".... definitely entails all three.

I hated this. As a snowboarder, I was ashamed. Snowboarding became less cool in that instant of live red marionette snow-sporters suspended 100 feet in the air. Hate hate hate.

And who could forget this guy? There he goes.... Flying over the grainy fields in his neutral clothing and generic face...

I don't know who this guy is, but he's having a great time... and loving Canada.

Then someone decided to be very sneaky and crop one of Shaun White's finger's out and post it online. Don't worry guys. Shaun still loves America (and Scotland judging by his kilt-scarf) and whomever came up with that cropping idea was just sneaky sneaky. Its so original and funny. It looks so real. I'd be anxious to meet this comedian... because they're hillarious.

Also while searching for "kilt fiddler olympics" I found this plaid figure skating couple practicing a couple moves on the ice that probably should have been saved for the bedroom.

None of that! Get out of here!

Lastly, turns out using cell phones will get you a brain tumor... or better yet, if you keep your phone in your pocket, prostate cancer!

(clearly I've chosen the most recent photograph)

Luckily, I havent a prostate to cancer, but I do have a brain... SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: hold cell phone .98 inches from your head... (don't feel alone, I probably wont do it either)

Read it and weep folks:

Monday, April 12, 2010

Today, during a class, I was completely distracted when the simple word "inbred" was spoken.

Clearly the only choice of my next actions was to google search "inbred" to see what I could find...

inbred gifting to the public #1

One of my favorite finds is that of Kenny the tiger.

He is quite possibly the best tiger in the world...

Also inbreeding entails dressing like your cousin/brother/significant other... always