Tuesday, May 25, 2010

One does not simply tank cat into Mordor....

I have never been the biggest fan of cats. Over the years my acceptance of them has fluctuated… but overall, they are not my favorite things. Perhaps it was the deathly allergies growing up. The nightmares of having my eyes swell shut and hours of wheezing and sneezing… but other than that, here are some reasons why cats continued to not be my favorite things.

and also websites like this: http://cuteoverload.com/page/4/

people have been doing horrible things with their cats for ages

and thats probably what makes me not like them… but then things like this happen, and it seems to heal all wrongs
then there are the people that do stupid things to their pets and think its a good idea.

...like give them wigs
Its the easiest and best choice when trying to make your cat look like a hooker.

They do have more professional looks for dogs… because they're more serious creatures.

also they have homeless looks for dogs

and princess

Most importantly is the cat painting trend… not to be confused w/ "cat painting"

no…. people literally paint their cats.

exibit A: ironic hipster cat

standard gypsy cat

bagpipe cat

lastly, my favorite, the cat butt clown….or is it charlie chaplain.. its hard to determine because its in color

also there is always the cat dancing movement….
which has been happening since life was still in black and white

cats came in bigger sizes then

Ralph, is a professional cat dancer (versus the leisure cat dancing)

"When Ralph dances with two cats, the energy fields can become confused. Instead of power being released through well-controlled movements, one cat makes sudden mad dashes and leaps. Cats who do this on their own are often good dancers."

they also have straight edge dancing cats for the more progressive believers

and poodle aerobics for the dogs

more importantly, they have an iphone game involving a dancing Michael Jackson cat

and also Hurley as a patron saint:

in conclusion, here are some hipster dogs to make sense to this messed up world.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Today I freaked myself out by thinking that my computer mysteriously typed something on its own…. question marks don't just appear on their own ok? It requires a shift + / function. Was it a miracle?

Then I thought of my computer being possessed by a demon… then I thought of the show the haunting and about the possibility of a weary soul being attached to my happy lappy (top).

ok maybe the haunting part wasn't a genuine concern… but sometimes the laptop I had before this one acted like it was possessed. It must have been the weary soul of Maria Montessori because it first belonged to my Aunt who is all about the Montessori. I always did wonder why it would communicate in indecisive ways that didn't impose judgement, but rather fostered my own initiative-driven motivations….

Then for a moment I wondered if the show ghost writer could be real...

and what it would be like if I had a mysterious entity communicating to me and helping me solve local mysteries and get me interested in reading…

then I thought of the forbidden doors book series for kids that I was addicted to all about the Spiritual realm…

… a mysterious person named "X"… or maybe it was "Z" (some sort of mysterious and edgy letter) communicated via online chatting to an ex-missionary bother and sister team to help them solve Spirit-themed mysteries for the Kingdom! Hallelujah amen!… This edgy letter mystery man may or may not have been their missionary father who disappeared after a plane crash… it was never determined… I loved those books.

Lastly I thought of how Tom Riddle once communicated to Harry Potter via a talking journal… and seeing as I didn't have a giant venomous snake tooth handy to impale my computer screen, thus killing the trapped horocruxed soul of Lord Voldemort, I had to close my laptop. I don't want to get tricked by the Voldemort… ever.

and here is Harry... and a stallion?
where'd your pants go you pasty mudblood?

Freaking computer is full of witchcraft!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Today is the earth day.

As much as I love nature and being green and whatever, I hate earth day right now.

I do love the hippie elements… that its redeeming quality for me. Despite my poor attitude, which is due largely to my lack of sleep, I drank organic peach tea today in honor of earth day.

Today's earth day was surprisingly sunny… and instead of being enveloped in all that sunny goodness, I was stuck in classes all the live long day. So in honor of being stuck inside and of the earth days, I looked up nature-type pictures. Here is a brief ode for all those trapped indoors; here is earth day bearthdays brought to you

The best news I had all day was my captain planet findings

turns out, he's freaking hot. Mildly anime, part pop-eye build.

also, I found pictures of captain planet incarnate!…. I believe.

Then this ugly melted earth rock is so two thousand and late

hug a tree

hug a tiger

and I don't know what to do with this… but I'm pretty sure it ruined my earth day.

but this naked guy riding on his stallion makes it all better... and here's a picture of him riding a horse... :)

This is my friend Andrea.

She's really cool. Prettly much 10x cooler than I am. And also, she's really good at taking pictures…

also, she has good taste in articles…. also she's quotable.

*by Andrea Johnson

" Happy Earth Day: I believe we must depolarize and depoliticize environmentalism. Caring for creation should not be framed in a right-left dichotomy. Stewardship isn’t primarily a political, social or economic issue; it is a moral issue the people of God have been called to address. If we desire to remain true to God’s Word, Christians must redeem the cause and make it our own. We need to rediscover the scriptural basis for creation care, engage our planet’s daunting problems and propose solutions most Christians are comfortable with. To abandon these issues to secular environmentalists shirks our God-given responsibility to care for His planet."

the article that brings about her inspiration?

so relevant right now. so relevant. cool and christian and relevant. good thing thats the name of the magazine… because its clearly the best description. its relevant. so relevant that even all the indecisive hipsters would read it…. its like a christian adbusters with missions opportunities and bible college ads in the margins. I kind of love relevant actually… its just so relevant…..relevant.....

So relevant that I just learned that earth day is only 40 years old. Imagine that!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A few weekends ago, I was trying to find art nouveau pictures for illustration inspiration when I stumbled upon this.

I could have relished the moment and moved on with my life, but rather (factors being no plans + weekend) I ventured forth into the abyss…. I spent the next couple of hours reading stories about carnies and people with biological defects that were capitalized…. HOURS I TELL YOU!

most of my finds entailed this:

this is the most talented zebra ever. The experience can be duplicated while on drugs while looking at a dog. (I do not endorse drug use… but I do endorse this zebra) He's like the real life version of that rainbow gum… but better.

obesity is NOT a talent, but I might still pay to see this lady dance because she looks like she's having a great time….

I might even join her in my own pink tutu... IMAGINE THAT!

sometimes I found carnies with no pants

then I found some great pictures of super strong German women

I want to be a member of this family so bad. You have no idea. I'd be the woman holding the bike tower

its kind of like Star Wars, but it really happened.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Medieval Woman

The other day in the cafe I was singing along to some great Electric Light Orchestra, when "Evil Woman" comes on. Now for those who know ELO, they sing in some really great falsetto most of the time, and their words can often be slurred. Also I'm really bad at listening to lyrics of songs and typically learn songs by the way that they sound versus actual content. So the chorus entails singing "evil woman" a couple times (hence the name), but "evil" is spaced out over a couple staccato-like syllables… so in my world, falsetto + slur + staccato = "medeival woman"… and that is what I've been singing for years… in an instant, I realized that the name of the song MIGHT correlate to the lyrics of the song which I clearly didn't know… this happens to me all the time. I actually listen to what I'm saying and I realize that I don't know what I'm saying and I learn something… and tell no one of my brain fart moment... until now.

so that got me thinking about medieval women and what they had going for them: the plague and hairy legs. Then I did some research…

turns out they liked to fish, kill things with arrows, play with dogs and play the trumpet!
Also all of them look sickly… always.
Its a must or you have to go to a different time period where you'll be accepted for your health.
Swan sitting… this was before animal rights activists stepped in and banned the practice.

They liked hats…. and partial moustaches

Looking bald was really cool.
some of them had to wear collars so they wouldn't lick their bulbous plague sores.
Then this picture made me think of the royal tenenbaums, but less masochistic

also this Mexican ATV gang.

Most importantly, this picture proves a woman's role was to decimate the weak.