Thursday, March 10, 2011

Got my ash wiped… twice

So this year, I did some serious ash wiping for the ash Wednesday.


As it turns out, it was my very first time, despite my emergent church love for ye olde church traditions influence during my crucial theology developmental years.

My holistic living, missionally minded, healthy theology and artistic strings can be strummed at one location: Imago Dei Community (thechurchisnotabuildingiknowiwenttobibleschoolforfiveyearsblablablabla)

All kinds of great is the best description I can gather at such a late hour. A place of growth, and health and community and yep. I could gush for a very long time, but I shall refrain.

(today is your day little man)

This year, I not only went to my first ash Wednesday service, but I got to help with music for it as well… this may or may not be the main reason I went BUT despite my initial motivation, the end result is that I will forevermore attend me some ash wiping services. So legit. I think the change occurred not only in the attendance of such, but maybe because I actually understood what it was about for the first time…. money towards Bible school went where? My answer that doesn’t answer the question and only really states an unhealthy habit? Selective listening…. Also, I’m under the assumption that I was dropped on my head as a child, so I can’t be entirely blamed…. Only mostly.

Ok, so I’m not ENTIRELY dumb and I got the concept of ashes to ashes and whatnot, but good God, the church calendar has been blowing my mind for the past couple years man… and it wont stop! I mildly ignored it for a while because I didn’t want to look like I was copying my weird hipster friends that seem to know everything about theology mostly because they’re really into sounding smart about liturgy or church history or something like that

and greatly ignored it because anything that resembled anything catholic was TERRIFYING for years and could mean HEDONISM and CULTISH TRADITIONS FOR NO REASON!... GET BEHIND ME SATAAAAAAN! then I went to bible school and learned better (especially grammatically)….

all I think about is this guy plus this really unhappy lady, and then some unfortunate movie w/ a guy that looks like Nicholas Cage and Elijah Wood

such a combination can only scream TERRORRRR!!!

So I get signed up for this ash wippage, without thinking much of it other than it being a fun little adventure where I’ll think deep thoughts amidst the monastic chants intermingled with sigur ros songs and I’ll get this trophy smudge which I’ll proudly don for about 5 mins before wiping it off like the slobbery lipstick smear left on your cheek from my great aunt.

Then, while at a friends house for dinner, my heart is changed by some well explained fervor for the lent. More than being some fun little actions and going on a church themed diet, this whole lent thing during the week, with every hunger pang of whatever it is we are sacrificing, we are reminded of the hope that is to come (which is the resurrection of Christ at easter)… yeah ok, I get it, I wrote a song about it even… but every Sunday, we get to be reminded of that hope and celebrate that with the body, all anticipating the ultimate hope at the end of the 40 days… bla bla bla church talk, I’ll pretend like I already know it because I’ve legitimately heard it over and over… wait… HOLY MEANINGFEST! … its not this somber little time of pity and moping because you’re hungry, it’s a time of hope and being constantly reminded of the ultimate hope in Christ and his ressurection…. My little bible school mind is blown with this reawakening of meaning…. and then the whole death reminder, brings us back to recognizing our humanity. Death is inevitable, and our fight against such reflects a hope for a life beyond this that we were created for…. But despite our strivings, we are helpless and brought to a crossroads of choosing to trust Christ with the unknown. It is here that He calls us to loosen our grip on our lives and die to self. It is here that Christ says we live. I don’t care how many times I’ve heard this, it just strikes a chord with me this year… and I hope that it never stops striking.

Also, it turns out that Rick McKinley is my new favorite for storytime. First service, he gave a great spiel based on his thoughts summed up nicely in a chapter in his new book NOT SO SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE OF THE DAY: BUY IT… but then the evening service, he pulled out a stool, and we all got to gather round on the blue carpet, criss-cross applesauce (in my heart I still say Indian style) as he actually read the chapter to us. Say what you will about vanity, but good ol Ricky is anything but vain and he just nailed it and reading it was the best decision ever. So really, you should buy the book… I haven’t yet, but my excuse is that I have no money. I can guarantee that the majority of the people reading this have more money that me ever and forever, and therefore can afford such magic (when I say magic, I obviously mean to infer that Rick is full of PURE THEOLOGY WIZARDRY!)

a book called I want it: confronted by the fact that I really want this book

No but really, buy it. I’ll even help you and give you the amazon link:

you have no excuse now.

So yeah. That’s how I got my ash wiped this year. First time around, it lasted about… 30 minutes before I felt silly and rubbed it off. BLASPHEMY! The second time, about 10 minutes… DOUBLE BLASPHEMY! Now I have a smudgy wrist and ash particles in my eyes… that’s what I get. But really, the church calendar is bomb... and all I want to do right now is have money to buy theology books… and Rick’s new book. Instead, I’ll just go and be a musician or something... Psh….And maybe live holistically and intentially for free.... bla bla bla

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

One does not simply tank cat into Mordor....

I have never been the biggest fan of cats. Over the years my acceptance of them has fluctuated… but overall, they are not my favorite things. Perhaps it was the deathly allergies growing up. The nightmares of having my eyes swell shut and hours of wheezing and sneezing… but other than that, here are some reasons why cats continued to not be my favorite things.

and also websites like this:

people have been doing horrible things with their cats for ages

and thats probably what makes me not like them… but then things like this happen, and it seems to heal all wrongs
then there are the people that do stupid things to their pets and think its a good idea. give them wigs
Its the easiest and best choice when trying to make your cat look like a hooker.

They do have more professional looks for dogs… because they're more serious creatures.

also they have homeless looks for dogs

and princess

Most importantly is the cat painting trend… not to be confused w/ "cat painting"

no…. people literally paint their cats.

exibit A: ironic hipster cat

standard gypsy cat

bagpipe cat

lastly, my favorite, the cat butt clown….or is it charlie chaplain.. its hard to determine because its in color

also there is always the cat dancing movement….
which has been happening since life was still in black and white

cats came in bigger sizes then

Ralph, is a professional cat dancer (versus the leisure cat dancing)

"When Ralph dances with two cats, the energy fields can become confused. Instead of power being released through well-controlled movements, one cat makes sudden mad dashes and leaps. Cats who do this on their own are often good dancers."

they also have straight edge dancing cats for the more progressive believers

and poodle aerobics for the dogs

more importantly, they have an iphone game involving a dancing Michael Jackson cat

and also Hurley as a patron saint:

in conclusion, here are some hipster dogs to make sense to this messed up world.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Today I freaked myself out by thinking that my computer mysteriously typed something on its own…. question marks don't just appear on their own ok? It requires a shift + / function. Was it a miracle?

Then I thought of my computer being possessed by a demon… then I thought of the show the haunting and about the possibility of a weary soul being attached to my happy lappy (top).

ok maybe the haunting part wasn't a genuine concern… but sometimes the laptop I had before this one acted like it was possessed. It must have been the weary soul of Maria Montessori because it first belonged to my Aunt who is all about the Montessori. I always did wonder why it would communicate in indecisive ways that didn't impose judgement, but rather fostered my own initiative-driven motivations….

Then for a moment I wondered if the show ghost writer could be real...

and what it would be like if I had a mysterious entity communicating to me and helping me solve local mysteries and get me interested in reading…

then I thought of the forbidden doors book series for kids that I was addicted to all about the Spiritual realm…

… a mysterious person named "X"… or maybe it was "Z" (some sort of mysterious and edgy letter) communicated via online chatting to an ex-missionary bother and sister team to help them solve Spirit-themed mysteries for the Kingdom! Hallelujah amen!… This edgy letter mystery man may or may not have been their missionary father who disappeared after a plane crash… it was never determined… I loved those books.

Lastly I thought of how Tom Riddle once communicated to Harry Potter via a talking journal… and seeing as I didn't have a giant venomous snake tooth handy to impale my computer screen, thus killing the trapped horocruxed soul of Lord Voldemort, I had to close my laptop. I don't want to get tricked by the Voldemort… ever.

and here is Harry... and a stallion?
where'd your pants go you pasty mudblood?

Freaking computer is full of witchcraft!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Today is the earth day.

As much as I love nature and being green and whatever, I hate earth day right now.

I do love the hippie elements… that its redeeming quality for me. Despite my poor attitude, which is due largely to my lack of sleep, I drank organic peach tea today in honor of earth day.

Today's earth day was surprisingly sunny… and instead of being enveloped in all that sunny goodness, I was stuck in classes all the live long day. So in honor of being stuck inside and of the earth days, I looked up nature-type pictures. Here is a brief ode for all those trapped indoors; here is earth day bearthdays brought to you

The best news I had all day was my captain planet findings

turns out, he's freaking hot. Mildly anime, part pop-eye build.

also, I found pictures of captain planet incarnate!…. I believe.

Then this ugly melted earth rock is so two thousand and late

hug a tree

hug a tiger

and I don't know what to do with this… but I'm pretty sure it ruined my earth day.

but this naked guy riding on his stallion makes it all better... and here's a picture of him riding a horse... :)

This is my friend Andrea.

She's really cool. Prettly much 10x cooler than I am. And also, she's really good at taking pictures…

also, she has good taste in articles…. also she's quotable.

*by Andrea Johnson

" Happy Earth Day: I believe we must depolarize and depoliticize environmentalism. Caring for creation should not be framed in a right-left dichotomy. Stewardship isn’t primarily a political, social or economic issue; it is a moral issue the people of God have been called to address. If we desire to remain true to God’s Word, Christians must redeem the cause and make it our own. We need to rediscover the scriptural basis for creation care, engage our planet’s daunting problems and propose solutions most Christians are comfortable with. To abandon these issues to secular environmentalists shirks our God-given responsibility to care for His planet."

the article that brings about her inspiration?

so relevant right now. so relevant. cool and christian and relevant. good thing thats the name of the magazine… because its clearly the best description. its relevant. so relevant that even all the indecisive hipsters would read it…. its like a christian adbusters with missions opportunities and bible college ads in the margins. I kind of love relevant actually… its just so relevant…..relevant.....

So relevant that I just learned that earth day is only 40 years old. Imagine that!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A few weekends ago, I was trying to find art nouveau pictures for illustration inspiration when I stumbled upon this.

I could have relished the moment and moved on with my life, but rather (factors being no plans + weekend) I ventured forth into the abyss…. I spent the next couple of hours reading stories about carnies and people with biological defects that were capitalized…. HOURS I TELL YOU!

most of my finds entailed this:

this is the most talented zebra ever. The experience can be duplicated while on drugs while looking at a dog. (I do not endorse drug use… but I do endorse this zebra) He's like the real life version of that rainbow gum… but better.

obesity is NOT a talent, but I might still pay to see this lady dance because she looks like she's having a great time….

I might even join her in my own pink tutu... IMAGINE THAT!

sometimes I found carnies with no pants

then I found some great pictures of super strong German women

I want to be a member of this family so bad. You have no idea. I'd be the woman holding the bike tower

its kind of like Star Wars, but it really happened.